I follow cycling close enough to know you were riding the Leadville 100 mile mountain bike race again this year. Leadville is my favorite mountain town. I’m always looking for a reason to visit this sky high village. And as you may know, Lance, I’m also an admirer of yours; read this previous post and you’ll know that I don’t dig being a fan. The last thing you’ll catch me doing is begging for an autograph or tackling you for a pic. Gimmie, gimmie, take, take that is no way to treat someone. Nor do I have the patience to follow a stranger’s successes and failures.
I’m not one to cheer from afar, I like to be involved. If I’m not in it, at least I can support it. That’s why Steve and I promptly signed up as volunteer help for the Leadville race. We’ve both benefited from race volunteers in the past so it was time to do our part. Turned out we were stationed at the start/finish line. Our assignment: crowd control and assist weary finishers, including you, the first finisher. The plan was to keep the fans behind the gates and fall in behind you as you crossed the finish line. We expected you to chat with reporters for at least a minute or two but no you crossed and rolled that flat tire straight for the pre-arranged exit.
I may look sweet and not to threatening but really I’m quite scrappy, solid, not soft; with plenty of experience knocking people outta my way. From drunk basketball fans to runners and hikers that can’t share the trail, I can clear a path.
So when you made for the exit gate, I was there. I had your back. Literally. I was on your back wheel, keeping the crowd from closing in on you. For perhaps a moment I provided security for you, Lance Armstrong. Involved, providing support, gladly lending a hand.
Perhaps you should hire me for your security detail. No crazed fan would suspect a lanky, baby faced girl of holding them off but I can. I am after all a hillbilly gal. But perhaps I may not have quite the might and experience of a pro-body guard. Actually it doesn’t even seem like you need much security now living high in the Colorado mountains where under normal circumstance most folks leave you alone.
So I offer my professional services. I am a legit Marriage & Family Therapist. We’re the best when it comes to working on relationship and family issues. While your family life appears to be running smoothly these days, let me help you keep it that way. Call me. I would be glad to work with the whole family.
Or even better yet we could be neighbors. My fascination with Leadville continues. Maybe this crusty little town will become home. So if while grinding the miles out on foot, Steve and I see you struggling with a flat on your bike, we will stop and take care of it for you, cause Lance, I’ve got your back.